In the September 2015 issue of Vanity Fair, contributing editor Nancy Jo Sales introduced readers to what passes for the “dating scene” among many millennials today.

At the heart of her article, which was entitled “Tinder and the Dawn of the ‘Dating Apocalypse,’” is the app Tinder.

Tinder uses Facebook data, including pictures and geographic information, to create a user profile. Users who are deemed compatible are then placed in a list of matches. People on the list can “like” the other person by swiping right on their picture. If two people “like” each other, they can then chat using the app.

That’s the theory, at least. But as Sales documents, the reality is somewhat different. According to one recent study, “there were nearly 100 million people—perhaps 50 million on Tinder alone—using their phones as a sort of all-day, every-day, handheld singles club, where they might find a sex partner as easily as they’d find a cheap flight to Florida.”

Or in Nancy Sales words, “Hookup culture . . . has collided with dating apps, which have acted like a wayward meteor on the now dinosaur-like rituals of courtship.” She adds that the “lengthy, heartfelt e-mails exchanged by the main characters in You’ve Got Mail seem positively Victorian in comparison to the messages sent on the average dating app today.”

And most of those messages are sent by the men. As David Buss of the University of Texas told Sales, “Apps like Tinder . . . give people the impression that there are thousands or millions of potential mates out there.” Thus, they don’t feel the need to treat any woman as a “priority,” especially if their sexual desires are being gratified, as they are. Instead, what women become are “Tinderellas,” a series of disposable sexual conquests.

As one woman told Sales, “There is no dating. There’s no relationships . . . . They’re rare. [Hooking up] is a lot easier. No one gets hurt—well, not on the surface.”

The effect this is having on young women today is enormous. Women are putting themselves out as one of millions that can be discarded with a swipe of a finger, or she is lucky enough to be selected, is likely the target of a young man looking for immediate physical gratification of his sexual desire and when he is, he will move on to the next one....she's just a swipe away. There is no development of intimacy, connection, or appreciation for who the other person is. No value placed on them being created in the image of God. They are a product, a service, a convenience, a trophy. Finding a sexual partner is as easy as shopping on Amazon. The choices are numerous and the availability is almost immediate.  

How does a woman come to that place where she has such a low self-worth and value in who she is.  Could it be that she doesn’t realize she is a masterpiece created by God and has a uniquely designed heart and beauty that is hers alone?  Who is telling her?  Our society has done a great job at externalizing a woman’s beauty and therefore believes that’s all she is.  This is a lie and the hope we can offer her is that she is worth so much more.  There is someone out there who will love her heart first and then her body.  Someone who she can trust and build true intimacy with for a lifetime.  He is out there.  Probably not on In the September issue of Vanity Fair, contributing editor Nancy Jo Sales introduced readers to what passes for the “dating scene” among many millennials today.

At the heart of her article, which was entitled “Tinder and the Dawn of the ‘Dating Apocalypse,’” is the app Tinder.

Tinder uses Facebook data, including pictures and geographic information, to create a user profile. Users who are deemed compatible are then placed in a list of matches. People on the list can “like” the other person by swiping right on their picture. If two people “like” each other, they can then chat using the app.

That’s the theory, at least. But as Sales documents, the reality is somewhat different. According to one recent study, “there were nearly 100 million people—perhaps 50 million on Tinder alone—using their phones as a sort of all-day, every-day, handheld singles club, where they might find a sex partner as easily as they’d find a cheap flight to Florida.”

Or in Nancy Sales words, “Hookup culture . . . has collided with dating apps, which have acted like a wayward meteor on the now dinosaur-like rituals of courtship.” She adds that the “lengthy, heartfelt e-mails exchanged by the main characters in You’ve Got Mail seem positively Victorian in comparison to the messages sent on the average dating app today.”

And most of those messages are sent by the men. As David Buss of the University of Texas told Sales, “Apps like Tinder . . . give people the impression that there are thousands or millions of potential mates out there.” Thus, they don’t feel the need to treat any woman as a “priority,” especially if their sexual desires are being gratified, as they are. Instead, what women become are “Tinderellas,” a series of disposable sexual conquests.

As one woman told Sales, “There is no dating. There’s no relationships . . . . They’re rare. [Hooking up] is a lot easier. No one gets hurt—well, not on the surface.”

The effect this is having on young women today is enormous. Women are putting themselves out as one of millions that can be discarded with a swipe of a finger, or she is lucky enough to be selected, is likely the target of a young man looking for immediate physical gratification of his sexual desire and when he is, he will move on to the next one....she's just a swipe away. There is no development of intimacy, connection, or appreciation for who the other person is. No value placed on them being created in the image of God. They are a product, a service, a convenience, a trophy. Finding sexual partners is as easy as shopping on Amazon. The choices are numerous and the availability is almost immediate.  

Ladies, it is possible to find someone who will love your heart first and then your body.  A man you can trust and build a solid, fulfilling, intimate relationship with that will last a lifetime.  He is out there, but you probably won’t find him on Tinder!